Living on the Edge of Your Heart

I recently made the discovery while I make it a daily choice to live in my greatness and stay in my heart that instead I have been lving on the outer edges of my heart.  What does this mean exactly?  For me this means that I know all the right things to do, I exercise, I eat right, I stay away from neagativity, I keep a strong support system of positive people, but yet I struggled with errant emotions that would leave me feeling like I would take one step forward and two steps back.

I have had challenges at work, at home, in my personal life lately that seem to at times overwhelm me or cause me to question my growth and what I really believe.  I would always come full circle, know the truth about my greatness, about who I am and then be fine for a day or two to only end up back in what I call the 'in-between" place. It is here in this place halfway between head and heart that I would begin to question and the WMD's (worry, misery, doubt) would take hold.  It would leave me questioning, have I really come as far as I thought?

As I was in this "in-between" place I started to look for what was putting me there and how to overcome it and be fully in my heart. Let's just say that over the past six weeks I have had some adventures in my personal life that has left me with questions of who I am.  There have been some interesting encounters that surprised even me and awakened emotions and feelings that I have not had to face since I started on my journey to greatness.  These things left me with questions, at times confusion and put me in that half way place between head and heart.

I was challenged by a friend to give myself time to gain hindsight so I did. This is an exercise that used to take days, but now as I try to live with clarity it only took  hours as I listed out all I did versus all I learned and what I discovered about myself in the process.  It was here that I discovered that I was not disappointed in myself but rather what I thought others would think.  In a nutshell, I allowed the WMD's to have a prominent place in my heart and as a result there wasn't room for me!

I was so worried about, what if they only knew, or the person or two that did know what were they really thinking, that I did not allow myself to see my life, my actions, my growth process through my heart but rather my head, and at times from the "in-between" area between the two.  So with this realization I could either allow the WMD's to stay or serve an eviction notice!

I chose the eviction notice immediately.  All of a sudden, I kid you not, the haze was lifted and I settled back into my heart.  In this simple eviction act I made the discovery that the WMD's are only powerful if you give them power!  Once I took back the power I had surrendered the perspective of the past six weeks came into focus and I was able to see where I had grown and the next steps I would take.

I was living on the edges of my heart, not really in my head, but not fully in my heart either.  Once the shift took place, I ended up with one of the best days I have had in a while, and not just emotionally but with my whole being and with a certainty of who I am. You see once you settle into your heart does not mean you will not be challenged, but when you discover your greatness you never lose it, it is ALWAYS there.  You have the tools to step back, evaluate, and in a short period of time get back to the place of peace, clarity, and growth.

So I challenge you.  Have the WMD's taken up space in your heart, are you in that "in-between" place?  Take a moment to step back and learn from hindsight and be reminded of who you really are.  It is only there, in your heart, your gretaness that you can truly be content.