Living on the Edge of Your Heart - Revisited

NOTE:  I posted this on Thursday 1/17/13 but was challenged to rewrite with some details of what has been going on to give a clearer picture of what I leanred and why it was so impactful.  So fearlessly here I go.

I HAVE BEEN DATING!!!!  Okay now that that is out in the open let me proceed.

I recently made the discovery while I make it a daily choice to live in my greatness and stay in my heart that instead I have been lving on the outer edges of my heart. What does this mean exactly? For me this means that I know all the right things to do, I exercise, I eat right, I stay away from neagativity, I keep a strong support system of positive people, but yet I struggled with errant emotions that would leave me feeling like I would take one step forward and two steps back.

I have had challenges at work, at home, in my personal life lately that seem to at times overwhelm me or cause me to question my growth and what I really believe. I would always come full circle, know the truth about my greatness, about who I am and then be fine for a day or two to only end up back in what I call the 'in-between" place. It is here in this place halfway between head and heart that I would begin to question and the WMD's (worry, misery, doubt) would take hold. It would leave me questioning, have I really come as far as I thought?

As I was in this "in-between" place I started to look for what was truly putting me there and how to overcome it and be fully in my heart. Let's just say that over the past six weeks there have been some adventures in my personal life that have left me with questions of who I am.  I have after 16 years started to date.  This is a big step for me as I am for the first time dating with my heart not my head and allowing myself to feel emotions I haven't felt before. I have not dated at all since I divorced 16 years ago and through this process I have discovered some things about myself that were quite surprising.  As I have learned to live in my greatenss, be confident in who I am and finally lost weight I have become attractive to men once again.(just a side note, while being fit and healthy is important, knowing who you are and living your life with confidence is what I really believe attracts men-just saying )   There have been some interesting encounters that surprised even me and awakened emotions and feelings that I have not had to face since I started on my journey to greatness.  Beside all the struggles with accepting my femininity, there are the challenges of the physical aspect of the relationship as well. Not having dated or been involved with anybody for so long has presented challenges that at 50 years of age I would not think I would be facing!   These things left me with questions, at times confusion and put me in that half way place between head and heart as I waded through figuring out what my boundaries are, how far to go, how fast to "dive in", what is my worth, what I have to offer, and the list could go on.

As I had a short-lived realtionship, and have gone on dates I began to question myself and what I was doing wrong, who I was, and what did I really believe in.  I resorted to name-calling (me calling myself unsavory names), thinking of myself as "lost", thinking that I "should be farther than this" and believing that I had no boundaries and attaching shame to decisions I was making.

I was challenged by a friend to give myself time to gain hindsight so I did. This is an exercise that used to take days, but now as I try to live with clarity it only took hours as I listed out all I did versus all I learned and what I discovered about myself in the process. It was here that I discovered that I was not disappointed in myself but rather what I thought others would think and that reaction if they knew made me question myself.  In a nutshell, I allowed the WMD's to have a prominent place in my heart and as a result there wasn't room for me!

I was so worried about, what if they only knew, or the person or two that did know what were they really thinking, that I did not allow myself to see my life, my actions, my growth process through my heart but rather my head, and at times from the "in-between" area between the two.  So with this realization I could either allow the WMD's to stay or serve an eviction notice!

I chose the eviction notice immediately. All of a sudden, I kid you not, the haze was lifted and I settled back into my heart. In this simple eviction act I made the discovery that the WMD's are only powerful if you give them power! Once I took back the power I had surrendered the perspective of the past six weeks the decisions I was making came into focus and I was able to see where I had grown and the next steps I would take.  I realized my limitations, that I was not a bad person, and nothing is wrong with me.  Through this process I realized that every decision I make be it good or bad still needs to be filtered through my heart in order for me to see what I need to learn from it and to provide clarity and perspective.  That this is a process and that as I enter the world of dating with the hopes of finding a soul mate there are going to be many opportunities for growth and that each person who crosses my path is an opportunity for me to learn, to set boundaries, to accept who I am and to see and accept what I have to offer them not just what they offer me.

I was living on the edges of my heart, not really in my head, but not fully in my heart either. I was afraid-there I said it, to fully allow my heart to engage so I was making decisions based on emotions, and what felt good and at times pushing away what my heart was telling me. Once the shift took place, I ended up with one of the best days I have had in a while, and not just emotionally but with my whole being and with a certainty of who I am. I started to hear what my heart was saying once again and to see and accept my greatness! You see once you settle into your heart does not mean you will not be challenged, but when you discover your greatness you never lose it, it is ALWAYS there. You have the tools to step back, evaluate, and in a short period of time get back to the place of peace, clarity, and growth.

So I challenge you. What is it you are struggling with that has caused you to move from your heart? What new journey are you on that may be causing you to question your greatness? Have the WMD's taken up space in your heart, are you in that "in-between" place? Take a moment to step back and learn from hindsight and be reminded of who you really are. It is only there, in your heart, your greatness that you can truly be content.

Living on the Edge of Your Heart

I recently made the discovery while I make it a daily choice to live in my greatness and stay in my heart that instead I have been lving on the outer edges of my heart.  What does this mean exactly?  For me this means that I know all the right things to do, I exercise, I eat right, I stay away from neagativity, I keep a strong support system of positive people, but yet I struggled with errant emotions that would leave me feeling like I would take one step forward and two steps back.

I have had challenges at work, at home, in my personal life lately that seem to at times overwhelm me or cause me to question my growth and what I really believe.  I would always come full circle, know the truth about my greatness, about who I am and then be fine for a day or two to only end up back in what I call the 'in-between" place. It is here in this place halfway between head and heart that I would begin to question and the WMD's (worry, misery, doubt) would take hold.  It would leave me questioning, have I really come as far as I thought?

As I was in this "in-between" place I started to look for what was putting me there and how to overcome it and be fully in my heart. Let's just say that over the past six weeks I have had some adventures in my personal life that has left me with questions of who I am.  There have been some interesting encounters that surprised even me and awakened emotions and feelings that I have not had to face since I started on my journey to greatness.  These things left me with questions, at times confusion and put me in that half way place between head and heart.

I was challenged by a friend to give myself time to gain hindsight so I did. This is an exercise that used to take days, but now as I try to live with clarity it only took  hours as I listed out all I did versus all I learned and what I discovered about myself in the process.  It was here that I discovered that I was not disappointed in myself but rather what I thought others would think.  In a nutshell, I allowed the WMD's to have a prominent place in my heart and as a result there wasn't room for me!

I was so worried about, what if they only knew, or the person or two that did know what were they really thinking, that I did not allow myself to see my life, my actions, my growth process through my heart but rather my head, and at times from the "in-between" area between the two.  So with this realization I could either allow the WMD's to stay or serve an eviction notice!

I chose the eviction notice immediately.  All of a sudden, I kid you not, the haze was lifted and I settled back into my heart.  In this simple eviction act I made the discovery that the WMD's are only powerful if you give them power!  Once I took back the power I had surrendered the perspective of the past six weeks came into focus and I was able to see where I had grown and the next steps I would take.

I was living on the edges of my heart, not really in my head, but not fully in my heart either.  Once the shift took place, I ended up with one of the best days I have had in a while, and not just emotionally but with my whole being and with a certainty of who I am. You see once you settle into your heart does not mean you will not be challenged, but when you discover your greatness you never lose it, it is ALWAYS there.  You have the tools to step back, evaluate, and in a short period of time get back to the place of peace, clarity, and growth.

So I challenge you.  Have the WMD's taken up space in your heart, are you in that "in-between" place?  Take a moment to step back and learn from hindsight and be reminded of who you really are.  It is only there, in your heart, your gretaness that you can truly be content.

When Tried by the Heart

Anything tried by the heart can happen!  This is a statement that has been said to me often by a friend is the past year.  What does this mean?  Are you to follow the whim of your emotions?  No, instead what is your heart telling you to do, how is it leading?  Your heart is where your greatness lies.  It is where that dream, that goal, that vision you have dwells.

I have learned that when you filter life through your heart you are much braver, have much more confidence, are willing to take a chance. Things may not always end up exactly how you thought they should, but just stepping out, allowing your heart to lead makes you stronger, makes you better and prepares you for the next challenge.

Over the past year my heart has come to life in a way I never thought possible.  I have learned how to accept and love myself, to rise up to challenges that seemed impossible, to be brave and most of all to discover the greatness that has been in me all my life just waiting to be tapped into.

In addition, I now take risks that allow me to stretch, to grow and in the process discover things about me that I didn't know were there. You see living in your greatness is all about listening to your heart and using your heart as the filter for what you do.

When you allow your heart to be your guide there is no goal, no dream, no vision that cannot be accomplished!  Others may say to you that it can't be done, but when you filter those statements through your heart you discover they are wrong and anything tried by the heart can happen!

So I set this challenge before you.  What do you want to accomplish?  What is the dream, the vision that has been tucked away that needs to brought out and accomplished.  Everytime you set your heart to do somehting you will discover that what you set out to do and more will happen.  I kid you not, this is true!  I have accomplished more in my life in the past 12 months than I did in the previous 12 years! 

What is you heart leading you to so?  Are you listening?  You were born with greatness!  You are brave, courageous, fearless!  Step out, listen to your heart, let it be your filter for life and discover a new way of living.