Sunday, September 30, 2012

The 100% Challenge - How Do You See Yourself?

This week I was challenged to love everything about myself 100%, quite the challenge and all throughout the week I kept on going back to this idea.  What does this really mean?  I posed the question "does anyone ever really love themselves 100%?"and was given the answer it is to each person's interpretation. In addition I was asked where I was a year ago and where I am today.  So I began to look at my life and my journey over the 10 months and made some interesting discoveries.

First of all I discovered that even on the worst of days I no longer beat myself up wih negativity.  Instead I filter my thoughts, feelings and actions through my heart and my greatness and am able to be calm and make choices that are positive to both myself and others.  I can now recognize that there are only certain things within my control, everything else I have learned to let go and not let govern my life. This 100% is that I now trust myself and no longer see myself as a "mess" which used to be one of my favories lines about myself!  

The next 100% discovery was that I now LIVE life. I used to rely on my job to give me self worth as that is the only place I truly felt I contributed and that I was capable.  However, on the journey from my head to my heart, I realized that life is worth living and is made up of WONDERFUL things!  I love and appreciate my children more than ever before. I now have a strong support system of friends with whom I can be myself at all times and who I have let into my heart and love and trust them.  I am doing things and making/reaching goals that I thought to be impossible. A friend teases me about my energy, but truth be told I love giving 100% to life everyday, and am learing to pace myself in a healthy way!

The hardest discovery I made this week with the 100% challenge is how I see myself in the mirror.  Even though I have had an eventful year of losing almost 100lbs, I have see very different image  than most people see.  I have a couple of friends who look great and are very fit and I choose from time to time to run/hike with them.  I have felt very inadequate at times as I have attempted to keep up or push myself to their level.  However this week I discovered that I am good enough.  When I was challenged with the 100% I knew in my heart this was the area that it hit home.  So this week I said thank you to everyone who complimented me with no dialogue of what I still need to do.  I ran with my friends and accepted when I was told how much better I have gotten and did not challenge it or compare myself to them. I am not them, I am me and what I can do is amazing!  In all this I discovered that I CAN love myself in this area 100% as well.

So what is it about yourself that you do not love 100%?  Where were you a year ago?  What changes have you made that are positive?  Truth be told, you are most likely much closer to 100% than you think you are.  I discovered I was and it is an amazing feeling.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Why Do I...? Taking the Next Step Fearlessly

On this journey to greatness I have asked the question from time to time "Why do I...?  I mostly ask this when I see myself as failing at something, when I do not feel fearless, when my greatness seems to have faded away.  Yet in reality, it is a question I ask when there is another step to take and I am not sure I can do it.

I am in the beginning process of this right now as I prepare to take on one of the most difficult realtionships in my life.  I know it is time because I my heart says it is and also says I can do it.  A trusted friend has encouraged me by letting me know I have never been more ready-I do believe her when she says this as she has been with me every step of my journey thus far!  Lastly, I know in order for me to move forward in what I am called to do I need to complete this chapter, this last leg of my journey, so I can take the next step to the adventure yet to come, of what I feel called to do!

However I still ask the question "why do I...?  It is though I want some amazing answer to appear that will give me the right moment, the right words and the perfect response, yet I know that this is not going to happen.  The real question I should be asking is this, "How do I see myself?"  This question will reveal my fearlessness, my greatness, my ability to follow my heart even in a difficult situation.  As I go into this HEART FIRST (not listening to my head) seeing myself as strong, as a brave fearless warrior, then I will come out even stonger.  It will put to the test all I have learned in the past nine months and yet I KNOW I am ready even though it will not be easy.

It is in this that my journey to greatness, fearlessness, and courage will truly shine through.  A friend often tells me I have determination, clarity, traits I never thought I had until recently.  But it is these traits that will carry me through and allow me to speak from my heart, my passion, from fearlessness.  I know that at the end of it I will truly be able to stand in the greatness that is in me because I will no longer give power to this person to defeat me.

You see the journey to greatness is not an egotistical one, but rather recognizing who you are and the destiny that is meant for you.  By giving another person the power to take this from you - and yes they do not have this power unless you give it to them - you cannot fulfill the greatness that is in you.  This is not how I want to live.  Even though I try to live my life in my greatness each day, I no longer want to hear or give power to the voice in my head that says I am less than (the voice of this person), but rather the one in my heart that says I am fearless!

So what is keeping you from your next step on your journey to greatness?  How do you see yourself? Will you listen to your heart or your head?  I believe your heart has the anwser...what about you?



Saturday, September 15, 2012

What Is Your Greatness?

So this week I was asked the question, "What is your greatness?"  I felt uncomfortable with the question as I at the moment it was asked could not answer with a defining statement.  I have since thought about this question, even as I was faced with a challenge this week that pushed me to the very edge of my belief in myself and what I am capable of.

So what is my greatness?  Let me start by saying that is is much more than a feeling or a fleeting awareness, it goes way deep to the very core of who I am, of what is in my heart.  You see, I have spent a good portion of my life with great ideas and wanting to do so much such as writing a book, traveling, being in a relationship that is fulfilling and brings out the best in me as I would him...thus far none of this has happened.  However, I believe with everything that is in me that all of these things are just over the horizon and closer than I know. 

What does this have to do with my greatness?  EVERYTHING.  I now have a clarity of vision like never before.  I believe in who I am and what I have to offer.  I see that the gifts I have been given such as writing are to be used to help others, the traveling will coincide with this. The relationship I desire to have I am now ready for, as I was not a year ago and would have run as fast as I could to avoid sharing my heart with anyone.

As I thought about all these things this week it brought me to the answer to the question of what my greatness is and it is this...I have worth, I have value, I am NOT disposable.  I spent the better part of my life not believing any of this.  But now I do, and this clarity is my greatness because it brings me back to my heart and who I really am and what I am capable of.  It gently reminds me each day that I am someone.

The challenge I was faced with this week was with my job and how I have let it define me as it was the anchor I held on to during my darkest moments in the past year.  Even through this journey and how much I have changed and the new life I live, my job held a defining place in me and it was where I got my worth.  Then suddenly, without warning it was taken away.  I still have a job, but the work I was doing has changed, and with it how I defined myself.  When I was asked the question "what is your greatness" and I had to dig deep to figure out what really defined me and realized that it was not my job, but instead what I carry in my heart, my worth, my value, my belief myself.  With or without my job, these things remain true.  Who I am is not decided by an external source but rather by my heart, and from my heart comes my greatness.

So I ask you, what is your greatness?  What is it you are holding on to that you are allowing to define you?  If it is not from your heart, examine it and let it go as it is fleeting while the things of the heart are not.  Once you see what is within you, your greatness will emerge and the life you desire to live with be set on course.  I know mine has.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Courage - Give it all You Got

Courage.  What kind of thoughts does this word conjure up in you?  The dictionary definition is as follows: "the ability to do something that you know is difficult or dangerous."  I love this because when you start on the journey to finding your greatness, to learning to live fearlessly you are venturing out to an unknown and at times it can be difficult and dangerous as it will shatter all the negative things you have thought about yourself.

I remember at the start of my journey I would be called brave, fearless and all I could think of was "yeah right!" At first did not believe a word that was being said to me.  I would listen, understand with my head and leave my session at times shaking my haed in unbelief that I was ever going to change. My mantra to myself was "Me - greatness, me-fearless, me-brave, who am I kidding!"

But then this concept was introduced...courage.  I understood this word in the face of adversity, of something that made me afraid, of taking a chance, but in my journey from my head to my heart...that did not require courage, or did it?

I discovered that by allowing my heart to be where I went daily to face life, to make decisions, to TRUST, I had to have courage.  I had shut my heart off for over 15 years to keep people out, to protect myself, to be safe, yet here I was being asked to open it and this took ALL the courage I could come up with.  This was asking me to do something difficult-allow myself to feel and something dangerous-allow others in.

As I ventured out into this unknown I discovered a me that had been dormant for many years.  The negative talk I had believed about myself began to be replaced with all the things about me that were great, were fearless, that made me brave and this time I believed it.  It is here that courage within me rose up as I allowed myself to feel fully and to let others in my life without reservation. 

So courage is what I desire others to experience as they discover who they truly are.  The path to greatness, to fearlessness, to one that is filled with life.  By taking the first step you have courage, by continuing you are fierce in that courage! Trust me, you will find out just how brave you are, and along the way how amazing as well!

  

Monday, September 3, 2012

FEAR...It Is Not Your Destiny

FEAR...this is a word that can be paralyzing to your hopes, your dreams, your future.  As I thought about fear this weekend and how debilitaing it can be I thought about the following statement "Don't let fear dictate your destiny...instead, be fearless and discover your greatness and all that you were meant to be!" 

I lived many years believing lies that others told me about myself, about my abilities, about my limitations, my lack, my brokeness, and all these things led me down a path of fear.  The fear was so overpowering that I did not allow myself to live, to feel, to allow others in my life, to recognize my greatness and instead went deeper and deeper into a pit.

When I was at the beginning of my journey to learning to live in my heart, I was asked to describe where I saw myself.  The picture I gave was that I was in a deep, dark pit with no way out, the walls were slick and I could not climb out.  It was here that I thought I thought I was stuck.  But as I discovered my way into my heart, the fear that was so crippling left, the pit became illuminated and I discovered that there were ropes all around it to allow me to climb out.  The names on the ropes were fearlessness, greatness, hope, bravery, courage and when I allowed myself to leave my head and live in my heart these things became real in my life.

So what does it take to get past fear and to not allow it to have a hold on your life?  The answer is already in you.  It is the very greatness you were born with, it is the path into your heart.  I implore you, take the trip from your head and all the lies you have been told, that you believe and instead make your way to your heart, it holds the truth about the real you.  This is a journey that will change the way you live from now on.  It is a journey that at times will be painful, but the pain is then replaced with peace, with greatness, with fearlessness.  You can become a brave fearless warrior!  Everytime I am called this, the greatness within me rises to another level, not because of the words but because I believe them and as you journey from your head to your heart you will too!

You ask how? You already know the answer. I know, this is hard to hear isn't it?  You are thinking-no I don't, if I did why would I ask? I  understand as a friend of mine always tells me this when I ask how, and I used to hate when she did it, but now appreciate the value in it as it causes me to listen. You see, the answer is already in your heart...LISTEN, it is speaking to your now.  Turn off the voice in your head that says no you can't and listen to your heart that says yes you can. You were born with greatness, with fearlessness and it is still there, in your heart, waiting to bring you back to what you can be.  LISTEN...if you do your life will change. You will become a brave fearless warrior - in fact, you already are!